文章不厌百回改，反复推敲佳句来

11年级IFD班-吴梓銘

Online shopping is an emerging way of shopping. It searches the information of goods through the Internet, makes a purchase request through electronic purchase order, and then fills in the number of personal checking account or credit card. Manufacturers deliver goods by mail order or by Courier company to their home.

Online shopping is a novel, fast and convenient mode of shopping, it has advantages and disadvantages. According to the data, China has a very strong market consumption power, and the consumption is the largest on November 11th. But who has thought how many small businesses will lose business opportunities and how many brick-and-mortar stores will face difficulties? The high concentration and monopoly of information makes China, which has its own unbalanced economic development, even more unbalanced, allowing capital to run amble.However, it is a good thing for the single people. Online shopping can let people buy things without going out, and even buy a lot of foreign imported products, which saves us a lot of time. However, it is also a temptation, which makes people have a psychological burden, and many people can't stand the temptation. According to the data, women online shopping consumption is much larger than men. The most fatal drawback of online shopping is the lack of authenticity. These pictures are for reference only. Sometimes the pictures we see will make people have a strong desire to buy, but when we receive the goods, their quality is much worse than the pictures. There are also a lot of online cheaters, and sometimes they will disclose personal privacy, causing unnecessary trouble.

In my opinion, the advantages of online shopping outweigh the disadvantages. Only if consumers are more cautious can some risks be avoided. However, the convenience brought by online shopping is unlimited and there is no upper limit. This year's epidemic, for example, has left many people at home. People can't go out shopping. If they want to buy the goods they need, they have to rely on the Internet. We should look to the future. With the emergence of successful online shopping websites such as Taobao, Tianmao and Jingdong, China's online shopping market has entered an era of vigorous development.

教师评语

Peter, Tt is so obvious that you prepared a lot for this essay. Your writing logic is clear and compared with last time, you made few mistakes. If I have to say something to you, I suggest that you had better use more words to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages in terms of online shopping, at last, you can summarize the essay to express your owe idea about the online shopping.

11年级IFD班-廖旖晴

Online shopping exists in every corner of the world. The convenience of online shopping is deeply rooted in people's mind, and it greatly facilitates people's life to buy the goods they need at a low price online. At the same time, people will be able to ignore the quality of goods because of the increasing popularity of the second-hand trading market.

 In recent years, with the rapid development of mobile Internet, the deep combination of Internet + and commercial trade makes e-commerce enter the stage of scale development. With the rapid development of mobile Internet, the combination of "Internet +" and commercial trade has brought China's e-commerce into a stage of scale development. The rapid development of online shopping platforms such as Taobao, Jingdong and Yihaodian has gradually changed people's traditional consumption pattern. At the same time, the second-hand trading market has become increasingly hot, people are in urgent need of an online platform to sell their idle goods, and the second-hand trading market in China has also gradually developed. The most popular second-hand trading platforms in China are Ganji.com, Xianyu, Second-hand car trading website, etc. The development of e-commerce business in Europe and the United States and other western countries is developing rapidly, and some countries have even changed the original accumulation category of GDP. In some developed European countries, nearly a quarter of the total business volume is derived from e-commerce, and in the United States, it is even more so. The largest foreign website for used goods dates back to 1995, when It was founded by Pierre Omidyar in eBay, California.

 Even if online shopping does make life easier and easier, it can take the form of online fraud. In particular, some commercial frauds may appear on some second-hand trading platforms, such as the telling the truth without hiding anything in the “small print”, online shopping pictures and descriptions do not match the real thing, the goods are of poor quality, and various fraud problems.

 Nowadays, there is a huge demand for second-hand transactions. No matter students in schools or people from all walks of life in the society, they can sell their idle goods to the people in need or buy the goods they need at a low price online. Online shopping is really good, but there are various things to pay attention, and make sure ensure the safety and quality of shopping.

教师评语

Sunny, there is no grammar and spelling mistakes in your essay which is a great thing for writing. What is more, your writing structure is clear and logical. However, I advice you to illustrate the positive and negative impacts on individual and society. Especially the impact on yourself.

11年级IFD班-李睿原

Nowadays, the development of internet is getting better and better. Online shopping has already became a part of our life, It also has a big impact on the life.

First, We should understand the mean of the online shopping ,Since jack ma founded Alibaba ,the trend of online shopping has been raised. I have successively appeared some shopping apps, such as TaoBao , Jingdong, Suning, Tmall, etc

   Online shopping as a important thing of most of people. For consumers, the time of online shopping cost is also lower than other shopping methods. They can finish shopping during working hours and get goods when they get home after work, so they don't have to occupy their spare time on weekends.Then for students, Online shopping is the most convenience way for students,It can easy to watch your commodity on your phone or computer.

  It also has many disadvantages to our life,for instance,online shopping can not guarantee the quality of goods,if you do not go to physical shop,you are hard to insure quality of goods .Secondly ,online shopping had to wait for a period of time.So, online shopping have both of advantage and disadvantage, all in all ,I also prefer to online shopping.

教师评语

Andy, what can I say? You did a better job than last time. It is such a fantastic thing to see your progress. Anyway, pay more attention to the tiny details which can make you better.

11年级IFD班-段燚辰

In the century，many people have been using online shopping,when they have to buy something ,most of people will choose online shopping,because it is really convenient and fast.Online shopping helps human to save a lot of time.

Online shopping is very helpful for the human.Firstly,it have many website and store to let your choose,like Taobao,Jing Dong and sky cat,they are famous for respective advantage.Like logistics’ speed and the real or fake merchandises.

Secondly,you don’t have to get in the supermarket to shopping,you just have to stay at home and take out your phone or the computer,and  move your finger just OK.Buyers spend most of their shopping time online and are using a variety of devices to shop, including desktop and laptop computers, mobile phones and tablets.Like the prevalence of a multi-screen car-shopping experience gives automotive marketers substantial opportunities to target and effectively influence shoppers at any time or any place. Dealers should focus on unique ways to deliver a consistent overall message with content designed for each specific device being used during the car-shopping process.

However there is still many problems in the online shopping,actually,many shopping website and application need personal information,such as phone number and identity card,if the application doesn’t protect your information well,you might personal information leakage.

And you can’t test quantity of the merchandises.Example,when we want to buy clothes ,shoes or other things,we cannot try their size,or we don’t know the authenticity of the goods,so we are easy to buy the fakery unless carefully.

So far,online shopping is change our life,it makes the human more advanced,yet it makes people more lazier,as a result,it has two sides for people ,we have to use it correctly.

教师评语

David, your essay is something that I want to share with the other students, you use the logical words, such as “Firstly, secondly, however”. My advice is that you had better use the key words “positive and negative impacts”.

11年级IFD班-何欣芸

Many people today use social networking sites, such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn etc. On social media sites like these, users may develop biographical profiles, communicate with friends and strangers do research, and share thoughts, photos, music, links, and more. In general, I think social networking sites have exerted desirable impacts on people and society as a whole.

Social media spreads information faster than any other media. Nowadays, many traditional media reporters use social media to check for breaking news, and an increasing proportion of the public regard social media sites as their preferred news source compared to television, radio and the print media. This is mainly because social media uses have been responsible for reporting events before traditional media outlets.

More importantly, social media sits empower individuals to make social change and do social good on a community even national level. People today have easier access to unveiling social problems and they have become more connected to the society by exchanging opinions with others who share the same concerns in life. This trend increases people's participation in social events, which encourages the government to address issues in various fields.

However, that is not to say that social media websites bring about no problems. One of the biggest concern is safety. With the increasing virus threats and well-trained hackers, online individual information might be exposed to risks, for example, the wide-spread problem of identity theft. Therefore, when making the most of the desirable changes brought social media, people should be aware of the potential downsides and rules and regulations should be conducted, to minimize the negative impacts.

In conclusion, we define social network sites as web-based services that allow individuals to construct a public or semi-public profile within a bounded system, articulate a list of other users with whom they share a connection, and view and traverse their list of connections and those made by others within the system. The nature and nomenclature of these connections may vary from site to site and I believe that social media websites are helping instead of hindering the life of us.

教师评语

Dolores, the whole essay is structured well in terms of the logic and the abundance of words. In this way, you must did a great preparation for it, my little advice is that make sure you express your own idea clearly.

11年级IFD班-叶锦江

With the development of the Internet, online shopping has become more and more integrated into our daily life. The whole world is wired together one by one, resulting in the online shopping has become a fashion.Next, let's talk about the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping in China

   The first is the benefits,the benefits fall into four categories.

   First,online shopping is efficient and convenient.Online shopping only through the network to select goods, online payment and a whole set of transaction processes, no need to visit physical stores, a transaction can be completed in a few minutes, save time and effort, convenient and fast.

   Second,Save money.Because online merchants do not have to pay store rent, remove the cost of goods, coupled with fierce online competition, commodity prices are generally cheaper offline.At the same time, online shopping platform offers more.The platform points system, membership system and so on can also bring some relief, so generally more cost-effective than offline.

Third,There are many categories.Online shopping platform gathers a large number of merchants, and almost all the commodities needed in daily life can be found, with a large number of diverse categories. Customers have a great freedom to choose, without considering the limitation of space.As a result, it's easier to buy something new and cost-effective online.

     The fourth,Price transparency.Online shopping platforms have a large number of similar commodities, so consumers can fully compare prices and have relatively accurate price evaluation of the commodities they need to buy, thus reducing the risk of consumers being cheated.

This is also the reason why modern people rely on online shopping.

The impact of online shopping on individuals is also divided into several points.

    First, the description of the goods is not clear, consumers get goods and description is not consistent, will return and exchange goods will cause some trouble and cost risk.

Second, the delivery company's service is not in place, the logistics speed is too slow, delay the consumer's precious time.

Third, young people are addicted to online shopping and lack of exercise, which is not good for their health.

Fourthly, shop owners have a good attitude when guiding customers to place orders. When there are quality problems, the after-sale service is poor, which seriously affects consumers' shopping experience.

Fifth, although online shopping is very convenient to use online banking payment, but some of the online banking is still in the form of static password, easy to be tracked by the virus, which means there is a certain risk of online shopping payment problems.

教师评语

Harry, compared with the first essay you wrote, this essay has an obvious progress. My advice for you is that you should pay more attention to the details, such as the first letter should be capital, and use the verb and adverb correctly.

11年级IFD班-欧阳达

At present, a lot of people begin to use mobile phones to shop online, because it is very convenient, but which has more advantages or disadvantages.

Shopping online is very convenient. You can buy whatever you want anytime and anywhere, and some of them are more favorable than physical stores. In the evening to buy heavier things can also ask special staff to help with distribution and handling. For example, if a person wants to buy a bed or a sofa or a stool at home, they can buy them by shopping online, which saves money and doesn't waste much time. And you don't have to go to a store to find something, you can browse the goods and prices you want to buy online, and sometimes you need to return the goods, instead of going to the store, you can ask a professional to pick them up at home on your mobile phone.

But with so many advantages, there are also disadvantages, Online shopping has great security risks. There are also a lot of fake goods online shopping. In order to make more money, many merchants reduce the quality of work and the material application of products. It is a safety hazard to buy many expensive goods. Besides, it is not strict to buy fruit hat may not be of good quality. People cannot try them on, and many people find that they do not fit well after they buy them. Therefore, I suggest you try your best to buy the food materials and clothes by yourself. You'd better not buy them online, otherwise it may be difficult to solve the problem.

教师评语

Jose, as for this essay, you did a great job. Firstly, the structure is organized very well. You stated the advantages and disadvantages. There is a piece of advice for you, next time hope you can pay more attention to the details, such as the grammar in sentences and the singular and plural for the nouns.

11年级IFD班-林嘉炜

  The advantage of live streaming and online shopping is that it is more convenient for people to buy things.Things that are hard to get in the market can be bought online in minutes.In addition, there are a lot of people selling things at the same time, you can choose to buy them, you don't have to bother to go to the physical store to consume, but within a few minutes to place an order on the mobile phone, the Courier will deliver the goods to your home in good condition and safety.  

But all these things have disadvantages, such as you don't can be trying on clothes, because you don't know what clothes don't fit you, such as lipstick, try, try not because you don't know is not suitable for you, the goods arrived at the speed of the speed of the sometimes is a bit slow, and you have to be careful some merchants may his quality will be some bad and you for fraud, sometimes some Courier can be lost because of some problems and express company won't compensation to you.

In the end I want to say is that online shopping has brought a lot of convenience to China, which I think is very good, and also because online shopping has made people's life better.

教师评语

Vicky, I can see your progress in writing. You did a great job about stating the advantages and disadvantages in terms of online shopping. But your introduction part needs to rewrite and the conclusion part also needs to improve a lot.

11年级IFD班-徐靖宜

With the development of the Internet, many people are used to shopping online. It has become a fashion in our daily life. Some of our students also joined the group.

Shopping online has many advantages. With just a click of the mouse, you can buy things you are interested in, instead of going out to shop, you just need to turn on your phone or computer and buy them online. By shopping online you can avoid tiredness and be trapped in a crowded environment, which saves us more time. When shopping online, you can choose the products you need from a wide variety of goods, the prices of these goods are usually lower, and couriers will deliver your goods very quickly.

So I think online shopping is a good way of shopping. In the future, more and more people will buy the things they need through online shopping.

教师评语

Jing yi ,in terms of the advantage part,you did a great job. However,you also should talk about the negative impact on individual and society.Besides, you express your ideas just from your personal viewpoint, you should also talk about the impact on the society.